It’s a mystery for the partners of many dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants, but the truth is deactivating is a strategy that the avoidant attachment style people use to meet their needs for independence and space, as well as protecting themselves from being vulnerable which they perceive as a threat to their safety. Understanding this strategy as an avoidant or a partner of an avoidant will dramatically improve your relationship dynamic. | The Personal Development School
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A deactivation is the avoidant’s way of creating emotional distance when closeness starts to feel overwhelming. It’s not always logical, even for them. But internally, their system is picking up signals of threat because emotional intimacy starts to feel unsafe to them. For someone with an avoidant attachment style, deep connection can trigger feelings of vulnerability they’ve spent most of their life avoiding. Rather than express this discomfort, many avoidants instinctively pull away. They dis
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